Not so much fibs as truths that dare not speak their name…(I have a pathological hatred of business meetings, if you hadn’t guessed already).
What is a board room?
A place where you are guaranteed to be bored.
Who usually has the chair?
A person – almost certainly male – who has somehow got himself into a position where he gets a huge salary for doing absolutely nothing except turn up occasionally.
What are minutes?
In a business meeting, what seconds feel like.
What is a projector used for?
Adding another dimension to your already crushing boredom.
What is a CEO?
Typically, a vastly overpaid and over-promoted individual with an epic sense of entitlement and a bad case of Dunning-Kruger.
What is a ‘stand alone’?
A scapegoat for a catastrophic business failure which was nothing to do with him.
What is a portfolio?
A haphazardly selected group of investments dressed up as an entirely rational, scientifically-based set of holdings.
What is an agenda?
A person who identifies as neutered.
What is a ‘sea of faces’?
The Thames Estuary after Thames Water has done its dirty work.
To what does ‘any other business’ refer?
An opportunity for lovers of their own voice to expound at length on a subject or subjects that have nothing to do with the supposed purpose of the meeting.
the only deadhead in the hameau 