Yeah, right… What is suduku? Doing mental arithmetic in the bath. What is a vagabond? A financial security not worth the paper its printed on. What is an anagram? Magrana. What is cribbage? The act of copying someone else’s homework. What is protocol? A new low. What is subterfuge? Playing classical music on an underground…
From 2015, another musing on my impractical nature… Master of none So, have you missed me? It’s been almost a fortnight since my last post. No? Thought not. I blame the good weather. Not that I have any objection to seeing the sun shine, but it does bring with it certain time-consuming responsibilities in the grass-cutting…
Vraiment?…… Why do we have Easter Eggs? Because of a plot for world domination involving John Cadbury, Joseph Rowntree and Milton S Hershey. What makes a Hot Cross Bun? Five minutes in the oven at Gas Mark 4. Why do we have a bunny at Easter? As a tasty alternative to the more traditional roast…
From as recently as 2017, my take on ‘social media’… T(w)itter ye not ‘Social Media’. Harrumph. Why am I even talking about this? Because WordPress ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts wants to know, that’s why: “The social network. Do you feel like you ‘get’ social media, or do you just use it because that’s where…
Bottom of the pops….. ‘I want to know what love is’ Millwall FC supporters club ‘Money, money, money’ The Old Ladies of Threadneedle Street ‘Tea for two’ Half of Led Zeppelin ‘There’s a kind of hush’ Dewey Decimal & The Stacks ‘Take the money and run’ Ronnie Biggs & The Robbers ‘Time after time’ Stephen…
Say what now? What is a canopy? A device for gaining access to tinned goods. What is a cookie? Fattening. What is a pup cup? A small brassiere. What is a typhoon? A hurricane with fried rice. Why are nails sharp at one end? Be glad it’s only one end: if it was both, your…
No, but seriously… What is a cannery? A can-do attitude to life. What is a rookery? An establishment that manufactures chess sets. What is hooky? Like nooky, but nowhere near as much fun. What is pinochle? A South American military dictator who can’t even spell his own name. What is a ricochet? An Irish radio…
From 2015, a time when I was writing (allegedly) humorous posts purporting to be journalism. This one illustrates how two nations can be divided by a single postcode. Meet The Neighbours Today, we feature the latest product of the joint venture with the online edition of our local newspaper, Le Quotidien de Faire-le-Dodo (87). Our regular…
As the saying goes… Mad as a……Reform voter. It’ll all come out in……a rash. Two’s company, three’s…..just greedy. Hi ho……Hu Every cloud has……about a thousand tons of water to rain on you. Sticks and stones……hurt. In for a penny……when going to a football match cost less than a week’s wages. Don’t count your……sheep. Not when…
Pull the other one… Borg Robotic Swedish tennis player Caught in 4K Showing off your fancy camera. Cheese pull Grilled mozzarella. Cheugy Foodstuff requiring long mastication. Chopped Foodstuff requiring very little mastication. Cheuzz Diner à deux Crash out Inevitable conclusion to long evening of student debauchery. Blue-Pilled Up all night. Fridge Cigarette Mentholated cancer stick.…
the only deadhead in the hameau 