From 2015, (yet) another rant about the importance of talking and writing proper.. Colonic Irritation Oh WordPress, you shouldn’t have got me started. A recent Daily Prompt dealt with the subject of punctuation. In particular, it asked ‘do you overuse exclamation marks? Do you avoid semicolons like the plague? What type of punctuation could you never…
Oh no it isn’t… ‘For whom the bell tolls’ Esmerelda ‘Knock Three Times’ Mad Ron & The Bailiffs Lyin’ Eyes Nigel Farage ‘Pink Cadillac’ Barbie ‘If You Leave Me Now’ The Goo Goo Dolls ‘Fool If You Think It’s Over’ The Undertones ‘I Close My Eyes And Count To Ten’ Albert Einstein ‘Money, Money, Money’…
From 2014, an attempt to emulate the…..er, style of noted ‘Private Eye’ columnist Mr. Comrade Dave Spart. The Alternative Voice The latest of ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’ invites us to “write a post in the style of (or simply inspired by) a favourite author”. However, rather than lay ourselves open to charges of plagiarism (and,…
From 2013, a rant about the plague of style over substance. Designers’ Trouble Has any designer of a designer hotel ever actually bothered to stay in the designer hotel they designed? The reason I ask is that Madame and I have just spent a few nights in a designer hotel in Bordeaux (it actually called…
Noooooo!….. What is a calibre? .45 in most Westerns. What is citrus? A seated Soviet. What is phlebotomy? An intrusive way of testing the acidity of your brain. What is pumpernickel? A means of making your money go further. What is meant by nimbus? A means of public transport with an unusually tight turning circle.…
I got them old Fibbing Friday blues again, mama….. Why is royal blood considered blue? Because some people will believe anything. What is a blue moon? The frequency with which I get a single answer right on ‘Only Connect’. What was the song ‘Blue Is The Colour’ about? It was written as an attempt to…
From 2014: on the problems arising from being of stern demeanour… Never Knowingly Overstated Examine my sleeve as closely as you will: you’ll never find my heart on it. I’m not, by nature, particularly demonstrative. This doesn’t mean I lack feelings (far from it), simply that making a fuss – thereby, (shock horror) drawing attention to myself – doesn’t…
Oh no it isn’t… What is a logarithm? The sound generated when you hit a fallen tree with a drumstick. What is algebra? An explosion in a typesetting room. What is an algorithm? I don’t know, but it’ll probably be the death of us. What is a quantile? Someone who erroneously believes that it is…
This was actually my very first post, from way back in September 2012, when I was just getting set up on WordPress. It’s nothing if not succinct. Apparently, only seven people have ever viewed it. And I’m probably at least three of them. What kind of email annoys you? I really hate those emails, usually…
You couldn’t make it up…..Oh, wait. What is a strimmer? Not recommended for a do-it-yourself Brazilian. What is a Mexican wave? How your driver identifies himself after you clear customs at Cancun airport. What is hogwash? Mud. What is poppycock? Pretty much anything in the Top Twenty these days. What is a doodlebug? An uncontrollable…
