Life’s Ups and Downs

When people say to me ‘you couldn’t make it up’ I can only agree. Imagination is not my strong point, which is why today’s instalment of WordPress’ ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’ poses something of a challenge: “Fictional Elevator. You’re stuck in an elevator with an intriguing stranger. Write this scene.” You lost me at…

Sensory overload

Is it me* or is WordPress getting a bit personal, not to say voyeuristic, with this latest instalment of ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’: “Feed your senses. Write down the first sight, sound, smell and sensation you experienced on waking up today. Pick the one you’re most drawn to and write. (For a bigger challenge,…

An in convenience truth

As one possessed of what is disparagingly known as a ‘gill bladder’ – which is to say that my powers of retention are somewhat below average – I have extensive direct experience of public conveniences all over the world, and during my many passing (sic) visits I have come across encountered some well-known faces. I…

A Fine Mess

What is it, I wonder, about ice cream that makes me go all philosophical? Earlier this year I posted a paean to ice cream entitled ‘Ice Cream Is Life‘. That was in direct response to a WordPress daily prompt, but more recently I was plunged unprompted into a new contemplative reverie by the alluring prospect…

Caption Competition

So, dear reader, which of the captions listed below goes best with this picture? A. That is positively the last time I set foot in a Wetherspoons. B. To be honest, I’m starting to rethink this whole Botox idea. C. No I did NOT say your bum looked big in that. D. Yeah? Well, you…

Leaving Dos…and Don’ts

Does it not strike you as odd that the expression ‘He’d be late for his own funeral’ is used as a criticism of somebody’s timekeeping? It mean, it’s hardly fair to criticise the stiff in question, since presumably by that stage all matters relating to punctuality will be out of their own hands and down…

Brainless Stupidity #3: GPS

(‘Brainless Stupidity’ is a – very – occasional series of diatribes against state-of-the-art manifestations of bovine idiocy masquerading as aids to moden life. Previous targets have included been the Belgian way of buying fuel and Paypal’s bizarre procedures for identity verification.) This time, though, our egregiously cretinous example is the in-car navigation system more or…

Conspiracy Theory

Joseph Heller got it right: Last Tuesday lunchtime, much to my chagrin, my iPad wouldn’t open the BBC iPlayer page, thereby depriving Madame and me of the possibility of listening to the News Quiz while chowing down on our baguettes. Disappointing. Madame didn’t seem to have a problem with her iPad so, following my iron…