Swallowed a dictionary or what? Defenestration An unforeseen consequence of the imposition of the Window Tax in 1696. Lollygag An instruction not to eat with one’s mouth open. Flummox When new evidence throws a murder investigation into complete chaos. Cattywampus What happens at college stays at college. Bungle US Secret Service code name for POTUS.…
From 2015, a paean to the humble chili… Hot Stuff Some people swear that “It’s impossible to eat badly in France”. Well it isn’t. It’s certainly possible to eat extremely well in France – often in the unlikeliest and unpromising places, which is part of the country’s great charm. But restaurant quality is as variable here as…
Working Titles… Bless This House The original working title of ‘Father Ted’ The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air A failed attempt to keep up with the Kardashians Diff’rent Strokes A young man’s guide to puberty. Porridge How to get your oats. Only Fools And Horses Official race programme of Royal Ascot. Happy Days Nostalgia isn’t what…
One of my earliest posts, from May 2013. Never forget where you were dragged up. Youse can take the lad owra Liverpool… So anyroad, I wuz skivin’ around disavvy, as per, lookin’ at dis WordPress business, an’ I seen dee ‘ad this thing called a ‘Weekly Writing Challenge’. Sounded a bit poncey, if yer ask…
They said what?…. “I have a head for business and a body for sin” Mae West “Wax on, wax off” An Edam cheese producer. “I’ll have what she’s having” A gullible follower of social ‘influencers’ “Please sir, I want some more” Mr. Creosote “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Witness for the…
From 2017, tales of odd encounters in public toilets… An (in) convenience truth As one possessed of what is disparagingly known as a ‘gill bladder’ – which is to say that my powers of retention are somewhat below average – I have extensive direct experience of public conveniences all over the world, and during my…
Yeah, right… What is suduku? Doing mental arithmetic in the bath. What is a vagabond? A financial security not worth the paper its printed on. What is an anagram? Magrana. What is cribbage? The act of copying someone else’s homework. What is protocol? A new low. What is subterfuge? Playing classical music on an underground…
From 2015, another musing on my impractical nature… Master of none So, have you missed me? It’s been almost a fortnight since my last post. No? Thought not. I blame the good weather. Not that I have any objection to seeing the sun shine, but it does bring with it certain time-consuming responsibilities in the grass-cutting…
Vraiment?…… Why do we have Easter Eggs? Because of a plot for world domination involving John Cadbury, Joseph Rowntree and Milton S Hershey. What makes a Hot Cross Bun? Five minutes in the oven at Gas Mark 4. Why do we have a bunny at Easter? As a tasty alternative to the more traditional roast…
From 2014, on the two-edged sword that is school Speech Day….. Alma Mater “You’ve been asked to speak at your high school alma mater – about the path of life. Draft the speech.” Firstly, let me say that I am greatly honoured to have been invited to talk to you all on my old school’s…
the only deadhead in the hameau 