Who Said That? ‘I came, I saw, I’…..left a review on Tripadvisor. ‘In for a penny’…..and still have change to get the tram home. ‘Many hands make’…..the Bayeux Tapestry. A stitch in time saves’…..the entire fabric of the universe. ‘Too many cooks’…..not enough honest accountants. ‘A picture is worth a’…..dollar, if it’s of George Washington.…
From 2014 – the signs of early-onset writers’ block… Must try harder “State of your year. Write up a mid-year ‘State of my Year’ post.” Still alive, still married, still solvent. The rest is detail. No news is good news, but it doesn’t provide much meat for a new post. Instead, let’s look at how…
The things they ask…. Forty two “Granpa?” (yes, it’s that boy again), “What’s the meaning of existence?” I know my limitations. A question that has occupied the finest minds of Homo Sapiens – and, for all we know, other species as well (those dolphins are no slouches) – for thousands of years was hardly going to receive a definitive…
Pull the other one….. What is a faucet? A pair of matching twin-sets. What is a patella? A child who snitches on a sibling to their father. What is an elevator? It’s a lift. Not an elevator, a lift. What is a lancet? I don’t know. Just ask the office IT geek: he’ll fix it.…
Say what now? What is a pinkie? An annoying piglet; the runt of the litter. What is a fortress? A fort, but with breastworks. What is a snapdragon? A short-tempered mythical lizard. What is a pantry? Someone attempting to cook for the first time. What is a windchime? Not exactly sure, but it rings a…
From 2014, on being an international jet-setter… Faraway Laughter “Far from home. Tell us about the farthest you’ve ever travelled from home.” There’s a website – of course there is: did you really think there wouldn’t be? – that will tell you the precisely opposite position on the globe to wherever you are in the world. Useful…
You having me on? What is a heptagon? A disappearing hept. What is a masquerade? A smash and grab attack on a jewellery store. What does the Greek word ‘monos’ mean? Only having one ear. What is a typhoon? A large storage facility for teabags. What is a ninny? Your nan’s sister. How would you…
From 2013, why I shouldn’t be allowed near sharp implements… Nothing to declare Today’s Daily Prompt asks whether I would thrive in a barter-based society. Ha! In a word, no. I have no transferable skills whatsoever, unless you would be willing to pay me to come round and load your dishwasher for you. No, I…
From 2015, a brief look behind the net curtains of suburbia… Too Much Information For one who has turned self-effacement into an art form, ‘doing’ this blog doesn’t come naturally, especially when – inevitably – little autobiographical details emerge from time to time. Nonetheless, today I’m going to lift the veil just a little bit more. Rest assured that absolutely…
Surely not….. Ricochet A failed first attempt at needlework. Paradox The National Ambulance Service. Influence The practice of sending a child up a chimney. Calculus The procedure followed in order to conduct the national census. Imminent ‘Yes, I work in television, don’t you know?’ Fluctuate Dyspeptic regret. Ramshackle A form of restraint required to keep…
