Pull the other one….. Who has a licence to kill? The chasse. Who had a perfect 10? Madame. Who said ‘I’ll be back’? Penny: she’s a very bad girl. Who wanted to be a ‘real boy’? Pete Townshend. Who had breakfast at Tiffany’s? Tiffany. What happened in Wall Street? Stayed in Wall Street. Where would…
From 2013. I’m not a poet – and boy, do I know it. Haiku: On the gift of poesy I always wantedTo write a haiku…Oh wait,I think I just have. (That’s enough poetry – Ed.) Fandango’s Flashback Friday 19 June 2026
Something beginning with K perhaps?… Artichoke A following wind. Brass A pair of highly polished peaches. Criteria Sticker required to access low emission zones in France. Doppelganger A double agent who has infiltrated both the Crips and the Bloods. Effervescent The smell of a bubble bath. Frugal A female fruitarian. Gossamer Someone who goes to…
From 2014, another example of a grammar pedant at work… Laying Down The Law You may have seen that the State opening of Parliament took place last week. This is when Her Majesty blocks the traffic in central London to go to the House of Lords and deliver ‘the Queen’s Speech’. This homily – not written…
Are you pulling my leg? Again? What is the difference between Biweekly and a fortnight? Another two biweeklies. How much oil would your lantern need to last a fortnight? But I don’t need a lantern… If you spent a fortnight in Paris, what would you see? A big dent in your bank balance. What’s the…
From 2014, a musing on parental responsibility… No, I will NOT act my age ‘Granpa, do you miss being a kid?’ Not the sort of question you expect to come, à propos of nothing, from a seven year old tucking enthusiastically into his breakfast. Nonetheless, a fair enough one, and deserving of a measured response. ‘Well no,…
Not so much fibs as truths that dare not speak their name…(I have a pathological hatred of business meetings, if you hadn’t guessed already). What is a board room? A place where you are guaranteed to be bored. Who usually has the chair? A person – almost certainly male – who has somehow got himself…
From 2013, why you should never talk to me about the ‘romance’ of travel… Go forth and worry Whoever first said that ‘travelling is better than arriving’ was probably being dragged to Tyburn to meet a masked man with a disembowelling knife and a mean streak. Or on the final approach to Heathrow in the…
Nahhh….. Biblioklept Someone who plagiarises the Old Testament Acnestis A pimply youth. Wrest pin A badge sported by fans of WWE. Agelast A grumpy old man. Peristeronic When only one of the speakers of your stereo system is working. Limerence Displaying a deep respect for citrus fruit. Sonder Pointing out the location of something in…
Swallowed a dictionary or what? Defenestration An unforeseen consequence of the imposition of the Window Tax in 1696. Lollygag An instruction not to eat with one’s mouth open. Flummox When new evidence throws a murder investigation into complete chaos. Cattywampus What happens at college stays at college. Bungle US Secret Service code name for POTUS.…
the only deadhead in the hameau 