You having me on? What is a heptagon? A disappearing hept. What is a masquerade? A smash and grab attack on a jewellery store. What does the Greek word ‘monos’ mean? Only having one ear. What is a typhoon? A large storage facility for teabags. What is a ninny? Your nan’s sister. How would you…
From 2015, a brief look behind the net curtains of suburbia… Too Much Information For one who has turned self-effacement into an art form, ‘doing’ this blog doesn’t come naturally, especially when – inevitably – little autobiographical details emerge from time to time. Nonetheless, today I’m going to lift the veil just a little bit more. Rest assured that absolutely…
Surely not….. Ricochet A failed first attempt at needlework. Paradox The National Ambulance Service. Influence The practice of sending a child up a chimney. Calculus The procedure followed in order to conduct the national census. Imminent ‘Yes, I work in television, don’t you know?’ Fluctuate Dyspeptic regret. Ramshackle A form of restraint required to keep…
From 2014, asking the question ‘Is the world a better place? O tempora! O mores! “21st century citizen. Do you belong in this day and age? If you do, explain why – and if you don’t, when in human history would you rather be?” A bit tricky this one, because there’s good and bad today,…
Pull the other one….. Who has a licence to kill? The chasse. Who had a perfect 10? Madame. Who said ‘I’ll be back’? Penny: she’s a very bad girl. Who wanted to be a ‘real boy’? Pete Townshend. Who had breakfast at Tiffany’s? Tiffany. What happened in Wall Street? Stayed in Wall Street. Where would…
From 2013. I’m not a poet – and boy, do I know it. Haiku: On the gift of poesy I always wantedTo write a haiku…Oh wait,I think I just have. (That’s enough poetry – Ed.) Fandango’s Flashback Friday 19 June 2026
Something beginning with K perhaps?… Artichoke A following wind. Brass A pair of highly polished peaches. Criteria Sticker required to access low emission zones in France. Doppelganger A double agent who has infiltrated both the Crips and the Bloods. Effervescent The smell of a bubble bath. Frugal A female fruitarian. Gossamer Someone who goes to…
From 2014, another example of a grammar pedant at work… Laying Down The Law You may have seen that the State opening of Parliament took place last week. This is when Her Majesty blocks the traffic in central London to go to the House of Lords and deliver ‘the Queen’s Speech’. This homily – not written…
Are you pulling my leg? Again? What is the difference between Biweekly and a fortnight? Another two biweeklies. How much oil would your lantern need to last a fortnight? But I don’t need a lantern… If you spent a fortnight in Paris, what would you see? A big dent in your bank balance. What’s the…
From 2014, a musing on parental responsibility… No, I will NOT act my age ‘Granpa, do you miss being a kid?’ Not the sort of question you expect to come, à propos of nothing, from a seven year old tucking enthusiastically into his breakfast. Nonetheless, a fair enough one, and deserving of a measured response. ‘Well no,…
the only deadhead in the hameau 