Who Said That? ‘I came, I saw, I’…..left a review on Tripadvisor. ‘In for a penny’…..and still have change to get the tram home. ‘Many hands make’…..the Bayeux Tapestry. A stitch in time saves’…..the entire fabric of the universe. ‘Too many cooks’…..not enough honest accountants. ‘A picture is worth a’…..dollar, if it’s of George Washington.…
Pull the other one….. What is a faucet? A pair of matching twin-sets. What is a patella? A child who snitches on a sibling to their father. What is an elevator? It’s a lift. Not an elevator, a lift. What is a lancet? I don’t know. Just ask the office IT geek: he’ll fix it.…
Say what now? What is a pinkie? An annoying piglet; the runt of the litter. What is a fortress? A fort, but with breastworks. What is a snapdragon? A short-tempered mythical lizard. What is a pantry? Someone attempting to cook for the first time. What is a windchime? Not exactly sure, but it rings a…
You having me on? What is a heptagon? A disappearing hept. What is a masquerade? A smash and grab attack on a jewellery store. What does the Greek word ‘monos’ mean? Only having one ear. What is a typhoon? A large storage facility for teabags. What is a ninny? Your nan’s sister. How would you…
Surely not….. Ricochet A failed first attempt at needlework. Paradox The National Ambulance Service. Influence The practice of sending a child up a chimney. Calculus The procedure followed in order to conduct the national census. Imminent ‘Yes, I work in television, don’t you know?’ Fluctuate Dyspeptic regret. Ramshackle A form of restraint required to keep…
Pull the other one….. Who has a licence to kill? The chasse. Who had a perfect 10? Madame. Who said ‘I’ll be back’? Penny: she’s a very bad girl. Who wanted to be a ‘real boy’? Pete Townshend. Who had breakfast at Tiffany’s? Tiffany. What happened in Wall Street? Stayed in Wall Street. Where would…
Something beginning with K perhaps?… Artichoke A following wind. Brass A pair of highly polished peaches. Criteria Sticker required to access low emission zones in France. Doppelganger A double agent who has infiltrated both the Crips and the Bloods. Effervescent The smell of a bubble bath. Frugal A female fruitarian. Gossamer Someone who goes to…
Are you pulling my leg? Again? What is the difference between Biweekly and a fortnight? Another two biweeklies. How much oil would your lantern need to last a fortnight? But I don’t need a lantern… If you spent a fortnight in Paris, what would you see? A big dent in your bank balance. What’s the…
Don’t believe a word of it… What is a tandem? When you forget to put Factor 50 on the soles of your feet. What is a periwinkle? That’s private. What’s the difference between a pitcher and a ewer? Ewers don’t play baseball. Who was Penelope Pitstop? Token eye candy from Formula 1 TV coverage in…
Not so much fibs as truths that dare not speak their name…(I have a pathological hatred of business meetings, if you hadn’t guessed already). What is a board room? A place where you are guaranteed to be bored. Who usually has the chair? A person – almost certainly male – who has somehow got himself…
the only deadhead in the hameau 