Noooooo!….. What is a calibre? .45 in most Westerns. What is citrus? A seated Soviet. What is phlebotomy? An intrusive way of testing the acidity of your brain. What is pumpernickel? A means of making your money go further. What is meant by nimbus? A means of public transport with an unusually tight turning circle.…
I got them old Fibbing Friday blues again, mama….. Why is royal blood considered blue? Because some people will believe anything. What is a blue moon? The frequency with which I get a single answer right on ‘Only Connect’. What was the song ‘Blue Is The Colour’ about? It was written as an attempt to…
Oh no it isn’t… What is a logarithm? The sound generated when you hit a fallen tree with a drumstick. What is algebra? An explosion in a typesetting room. What is an algorithm? I don’t know, but it’ll probably be the death of us. What is a quantile? Someone who erroneously believes that it is…
You couldn’t make it up…..Oh, wait. What is a strimmer? Not recommended for a do-it-yourself Brazilian. What is a Mexican wave? How your driver identifies himself after you clear customs at Cancun airport. What is hogwash? Mud. What is poppycock? Pretty much anything in the Top Twenty these days. What is a doodlebug? An uncontrollable…
Wotcher! Rhyming slang this week… Battlecruiser A pub drinking game. Bread and cheese Ploughman’s lunch to munch. Cows and kisses Still legal in West Virginia. Dicky dirt Lack of basic hygiene. Lady Godiva Posh chocolates. Mork and Mindy Shazbat. Daisy roots Jamaican female reggae artiste. Dustbin lid Lift to get rid. Peckham Rye Pass this…
Who Said That? ‘I came, I saw, I’…..left a review on Tripadvisor. ‘In for a penny’…..and still have change to get the tram home. ‘Many hands make’…..the Bayeux Tapestry. A stitch in time saves’…..the entire fabric of the universe. ‘Too many cooks’…..not enough honest accountants. ‘A picture is worth a’…..dollar, if it’s of George Washington.…
Pull the other one….. What is a faucet? A pair of matching twin-sets. What is a patella? A child who snitches on a sibling to their father. What is an elevator? It’s a lift. Not an elevator, a lift. What is a lancet? I don’t know. Just ask the office IT geek: he’ll fix it.…
Say what now? What is a pinkie? An annoying piglet; the runt of the litter. What is a fortress? A fort, but with breastworks. What is a snapdragon? A short-tempered mythical lizard. What is a pantry? Someone attempting to cook for the first time. What is a windchime? Not exactly sure, but it rings a…
You having me on? What is a heptagon? A disappearing hept. What is a masquerade? A smash and grab attack on a jewellery store. What does the Greek word ‘monos’ mean? Only having one ear. What is a typhoon? A large storage facility for teabags. What is a ninny? Your nan’s sister. How would you…
Surely not….. Ricochet A failed first attempt at needlework. Paradox The National Ambulance Service. Influence The practice of sending a child up a chimney. Calculus The procedure followed in order to conduct the national census. Imminent ‘Yes, I work in television, don’t you know?’ Fluctuate Dyspeptic regret. Ramshackle A form of restraint required to keep…
