The latest of ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’ invites us to “write a post in the style of (or simply inspired by) a favourite author”.

However, rather than lay ourselves open to charges of plagiarism (and, even worse, doubtless poorly-executed plagiarism at that) we decided instead on a departure from the normal diet of self-obsessed twaddle. So today for the first time we are proud to offer a platform to a guest blogger.

Many readers will be familiar with Dave Spart, long-time Private Eye columnist and perhaps the original ‘Alternative Voice’. He is, of course, also Co-chair Emeritus of the Organising Committee of the Hoxton and Shoreditch Anarcho-syndicalist Save-the-Whale Hang-all-the-bankers Socialist Collective (Marxist-Leninist).

Here – writing in a personal capacity – Dave shares his views on the latest developments in the class struggle:

‘Once again, the toadying lick-spittle British media are waging pitiless war on behalf of their paymasters in the military-industrial complex by offering a so-called free sausage roll for every reader.

With nauseating predictability, these storm-troopers of capitalism have shown their contempt for, and depraved desire to oppress, the digestive systems of the working class by force-feeding them indigestion-inducing flaky pastry, thereby basically forcing our unsung socialist heroes to spend what little resources are left to them after the rapacious tax demands of the mad boss class, i.e. the Tory hegemony and their sinister frontman George Osborne, on Alka-Seltzer, Gaviscon and other cynical non-prescription products of the global pharmaceutical world-domination oligopoly.

Er..thus ensuring that the fellow-travellers of the petty bourj, borg, bergoi middle class, placated and tranquilised by the endless diet of fascist propaganda masquerading as light entertainment produced by the right-wing conspiracy at the top of the BBC, e.g. Strictly Come Dancing and The Great British Bake-Off, are rewarded for their utterly sickening compliancy by not having any upstart proletarian would-be epicure getting ahead of them in the queue for organic olive oil and tofu at that agreeable new delicatessen and fair-trade coffee shop that’s just opened in the converted sweatshop on Bethnal Green Road (cont. p94)’