You ‘avin’ a larf?
Verklempt
A native German speaker’s attempt to indicate that they’re hungry to somebody from Lancashire.
Vittle
Mis-spelled French mineral water.
Vuvuzela
A particularly cruel form of torture.
Vexillology
Another word for hypochondria.
Velociraptor
Not a pterodactyl.
Vamoosinator
A cyborg sent from the future to chase everyone away.
Vicissitude
Emulation of the behaviour of Sid Vicious.
Voce
When you put the cross in the wrong place on the ballot paper.
Vagary
Airhead.
Verbose
An expert in the rules of grammar.
the only deadhead in the hameau 
Thanks for joining in. Great answers this week.