Bah, humbug.

Why was January chosen to be the first month of the year?

It put its hand up first.

Why does the Chinese New Year not start until February?

Jet lag.

What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day?

What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas any day of the year?

Why do we make New Year’s resolutions?

To provide an early opportunity to feel bad about ourselves.

What will Santa Claus be doing now that Christmas is over?

Laying off all the helpers on zero-hour contracts.

According to tradition, in the Twelve Days of Christmas, the 1st day is Christmas itself. So what is the 12th day known as?

I knew I’d heard this somewhere before, but I struggled for almost two weeks to try and remember. Then I had an Epiphany.

Why are so many of the gifts listed in the song ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ birds?

Because they’re cheep.

What earthly event marks when an angel gets its wings?

Hmmm. I’m sure I’ve heard that before somewhere. It certainly rings a bell.

What happens on the Winter Solstice?

…stays on the Winter Solstice.

How did the tradition of the Yule log originate?

Somebody burnt the Christmas cake and only had a stale Swiss roll to offer as an alternative.

Fibbing Friday 19 December 2025