What is a lover’s knot?
The male equivalent of a chastity belt.
Where is the Milky Way?
Still on the shelf. I’d much rather have a Crunchie.
What is a bellyflop?
An unsuccessful sumo wrestler.
Why do they say ‘break a leg’ before a performer goes on stage?
Because they’re the understudy and the critics are in tonight.
What is a goofball?
A dance for goofs.
What is two for his heels and one for his nob?
An absolute bargain.
Why should every woman have an LBD?
To go with her LB shoes.
What is an Updo?
The process that leads ultimately to an Updone.
What do pearl, silverskin and button have in common?
I couldn’t say. Why don’t you ask someone who knows their onions?
Why does the rain in Spain stay mainly in the plain?
Because it’s very well-spoken precipitation.
the only deadhead in the hameau 
Absolutely ace! Loved them all, but #1 was brilliant! Thanks for joining in.