#idle misanthrope

My Twitter account is a bit like my bicycle; it’s there, it’s mine alright, but it doesn’t get used much.

WordPress is the only reason I signed up to Twitter in the first place, but as I pointed out at the time, since I know hardly anybody else with a Twitter account, its value as a way of publicising my posts is somewhat limited.

Yes, I ‘publicise’ my posts with an automated Twitter announcement, but on the ‘out-tray’ side that’s as far as it goes. Somehow, I seem to have acquired no fewer than 16 followers, and even have reason to believe that at least a few of them are real people, but it’s hardly going to help me go viral, is it?

“I finally asked myself, ‘Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?’ No response. Figures” – Ned Hickson@NedHickson

However, I do look at Twitter every couple of days or so, and I’ve ‘liked’ some Tweets that I’ve found either amusing or uncomfortably close to the truth (or both). A recent Daily Prompt included in the WordPress Writing 101 challenge suggested that I might care to look at these favourites and consider what they could say about me.

Hmmm.

So, I dug into my Twitter account and discovered that I had ‘liked’ a grand total of 112 tweets. Of these, there are one or two that, for the life of me, I can neither recall nor understand what drove me to highlight them in the first place.

A charitable explanation for these outliers would be fat finger syndrome, although a more likely cause is ingestion of a red liquid that is sold throughout France in 75cl bottles. And by the case.

“Drink responsibly? Responsibility is why I drink”C’est la vie@Robert_Beau

By far the most frequent source of my likes is @Wit_of_Wilde, which produces regular nuggets of the wisdom of the divine Oscar, including what is arguably the basis of this blog, and possibly my entire world-view:

“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about”

But if you think that’s a cop-out, consider these words of G K Chesterton, tweeted by Danny Baker@prodnose:

“Solemn is the easy thing to do. Frivolous, that’s hard.”

However, if you take my likes all of a piece, the only possible conclusion is that you are dealing with an idle misanthrope with self-esteem issues,

Consider the following observations that have struck a chord with me:

In my defence, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I may at times be less than pro-active: although I prefer to think of it as masterly inactivity. You could also say it’s a matter of being aware of my own limitations:

  • “I have what would best be described as a can’t do attitude” – DaddyJew@DaddyJew
  • “If you want a job done properly, pay someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing to do it”Token Geezer@Token_Geezer

So, that’s a tick in the box for lazy. Now, what about misanthropic? Oh, there’s plenty of those:

  • “Philosophers are innocent idealists who believe in the ridiculous theory that people, as a rule, like to think”Laet Oliveira@LaetPO (needless to say, I have a degree in Philosophy)

IMG_0284

  • “Sorry if I upset you with all those irrefutable facts”Jake Vig@Jake_Vig
  • “I try to make my own luck. I call it thinking things through”Tony@tsm560
  • “See here’s the thing about some people: they’re morons”God@TheTweetOfGod

IMG_0396

Don’t take all this too seriously, however. It’s just a case of:

And in fairness, I’m just as hard on myself as the rest of the world:

Who knows, though, maybe there’s method in my madness:

IMG_0370

In case you’ve found all this introspection a bit of a downer, let me leave you with the single funniest tweet in my collection. I don’t know why, but it just leaves me helpless every time I think about it:

  • “I left your lame party because you expected me to drink red wine out of a chardonnay glass like some kind of fucking animal”Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame

Right, is that it? Can I go now?

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4 thoughts on “#idle misanthrope

  1. WordPress, Twitter, Facebook. Lame and duplicitous, mutual back-slapping clubs for the intellectually-bereft, the lonely and the desperate. Do you realise that if Horace, Steinbeck and Keats had opened WordPress accounts and had not played the little dance of duplicity that is the ‘liking/commenting system that holds sway in here, they would have gone to their graves; unread, unappreciated, unloved and unknown.

    • So rather like us really. On a serious note, I completely agree about the abuse of Comments and especially Likes. Of course it’s nice to be appreciated, but there are some serial likers out there (possibly even more so on photography blogs) who are just fishing for a bit of reciprocation. If I see something I really do like, then I will hit the button – and it will actually mean something.

      Go on, like this comment – I dare you.

      • Like yourself, I refuse to join the dysfunctional and, oft hilarious, ‘WordPress Family’. As a satirist, it provides me with moments of wry observation and somewhere to archive my copy, which, incidentally, I whore out to various satirical or humour-based publications for pecuniary gain, albeit very meagre. A piece I wrote last week attracted 18,000 ‘likes’ on Facebook, 9,000 shares, and a veritable smorgasboard of irritating, time-consuming comments. So I do permit myself a self-congratulatory chortle when I spot one of the “success stories” on here with their 60 odd ‘likes’ and a smattering of sycophants lapping between their buttock clefts. Misanthropy? I could lecture on the subject at The London University of Bastards 🙂

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