Don’t try this – anywhere

There are probably lots of things you’ve never done. Some of these you will never do: hopefully these will include the classic duo of incest and Morris dancing. Other, less reprehensible, things you may do and be glad of the fact. But there are others that you will do at some point and rather wish you…

Guest Blogger: Dave Spart On Holiday(s)

Following the runaway success (25 views in only nine months) of last October’s guest post by legendary hardline activist Dave Spart, we’ve listened to the clamour of our public and invited him back to give us his unflinchingly austere analysis of the highly topical subject of summer holidays. Although, quite frankly, he owes us one. since we invited him…

Forty two

“Granpa?” (yes, it’s that boy again), “What’s the meaning of existence?” I know my limitations. A question that  has occupied the finest minds of Homo Sapiens – and, for all we know, other species as well (those dolphins are no slouches) – for thousands of years was hardly going to receive a definitive answer on the way to the…

Never mind my generation, what about yours?

I got on a bus recently. Let me tell you, my life is one long party. I had a suitcase with me so, wanting to stay close to the luggage rack, I flopped down in the nearest seat, only noticing a couple of minutes later that it was one prioritised for the elderly and infirm. My…

Too much information

For one who has turned self-effacement into an art form, ‘doing’ this blog doesn’t come naturally, especially when – inevitably – little autobiographical details emerge from time to time. Nonetheless, today I’m going to lift the veil just a little bit more. Rest assured that absolutely no self-aggrandisement is intended. I’d frankly rather pull out my own teeth than start vanity publishing.…

10 Things I’ve Learnt In The Last 1,000 Days

Today, 24th June, is the 1,000th day since I retired from working life. I know this because I have an App that counted down the months and weeks towards my retirement date and then forgot to stop. 1,000 days. That’s about 33 months. 143 weeks. 24,000 hours. You can slice and dice it as finely…

It’s All Kicking Off In Faire-Le-Dodo (87)

The traditional tranquilité of our commune was shattered yesterday when two members of the local constabulary were called to an altercation at La Petite Superette et Salon de Thé. This is believed to be the first time that the gendarmes have had to be diverted from their usual job – manning speed traps on the Route Départemental…

Jobs for life, or why I would make a decent au pair

Impelled by the desire to reassure my small but perfectly formed readership that I haven’t turned my toes up just yet, I thought I’d better do something. This isn’t so easy. I’m quite heavily reliant for inspiration on the daily prompts, but since most of those recently seem to have been recycled from last year’s…

No, I will not act my age

‘Granpa, do you miss being a kid?’ Not the sort of question you expect to come, à propos of nothing, from a seven year old tucking enthusiastically into his breakfast. Nonetheless, a fair enough one, and deserving of a measured response. ‘Well no, because in my head I still am a kid’ was my eventual reply. ‘But…

Public Service Announcement: Keep Calm And Give It A Miss

As our regular readers know, this site has merged with the online edition of the local newspaper, ‘Le Quotidien de Faire-Le-Dodo (87)’. As a public service, we are reproducing below an article written by Jean Le Bidon, the paper’s chief investigative reporter, in which he addresses an area of major concern to the local expat population. We…