Don’t believe a word of it…
What is a tandem?
When you forget to put Factor 50 on the soles of your feet.
What is a periwinkle?
That’s private.
What’s the difference between a pitcher and a ewer?
Ewers don’t play baseball.
Who was Penelope Pitstop?
Token eye candy from Formula 1 TV coverage in less enlightened times.
What is pigeon toed?
To go away and poop somewhere else.
What is a toupee?
The bill.
What is carrion?
The tiny piece of cabin baggage allowed by Ryanair.
What is a milkshake?
Wasted on Farage.
What is a cockle?
Not quite as revolting as a winkle.
What is a chouz bun?
A choux bun lost in translation.
the only deadhead in the hameau 
Great fibs, especially the milkshake and I corrected the typo on #10, another answer I found really funny. Thanks for joining in again this week.