Song Lyric Sunday: Novelty – ‘When I’m Cleaning Windows’

This week’s theme for Song Lyric Sunday is novelty songs. Well. we could all use a little bit of levity at the moment, so here goes.

I have a distinct memory of Sunday afternoons in our house when I was around eight years old in the late fifties or very early sixties. We always used to watch the film that was staple fare in those days. It always seemed to be either a British war movie, such as ‘The Dambusters’ or ‘Reach For The Sky’ or a comedy, usually one of the Ealing Studio classics like ‘Passport To Pimlico’ or ‘The Lavender Hill Mob’.

But I do clearly recall George Formby himself, then getting on a bit, introducing a season of his own films. For the uninitiated, George Formby was, to quote the fount of all wisdom, Wikipedia, “an English actor, singer-songwriter and comedian who became known to a worldwide audience through his films of the 1930s and 1940s. On stage, screen and record he sang light, comic songs typically accompanying himself on the ukelele and became the United Kingdom’s highest-paid entertainer”.

Many of these songs would certainly be considered as novelties, although some of them (such as this example) were quite risqué in a seaside postcard kind of way. Unsurprisingly, they were banned by that self-appointed guardian of the nation’s morals, the BBC. What can they mean?

Now I go cleanin’ windows to earn an honest bob
For a nosy parker it’s an interestin’ job
Now it’s a job that just suits me
A window cleaner you would be
If you can see what I can see
When I’m cleanin’ windows

Honeymoonin’ couples too
You should see them bill ‘n coo
You’d be surprised at things they do
When I’m cleanin’ windows

In my profession I’ll work hard
But I’ll never stop
I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
Till I get right to the top

The blushin’ bride, she looks divine
The bridegroom he is doin’ fine
I’d rather have his job than mine
When I’m cleanin’ windows

The chambermaids’ sweet names I call
It’s a wonder I don’t fall
My mind’s not on my work at all
When I’m cleanin’ windows

I know a fella, such a swell
He has a thirst, that’s plain to tell
I’ve seen him drink his bath as well
When I’m cleanin’ windows

Oh, in my profession I’ll work hard
But I’ll never stop
I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
Till I get right to the top

Pyjamas lyin’ side by side
Ladies nighties I have spied
I’ve often seen what goes inside
When I’m cleanin’ windows

Now there’s a famous talkie queen
She looks a flapper on the screen
She’s more like eighty than eighteen
When I’m cleanin’ windows

She pulls her hair all down behind
Then pulls down her… Never mind
And after that pulls down the blind
When I’m cleanin’ windows

In my profession I’ll work hard
But I’ll never stop
I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
Till I get right to the top

An old maid walks around the floor
She’s so fed up, one day I’m sure
She’ll drag me in and lock the door
When I’m cleanin’ windows
When I’m cleanin’ windows

Written by Frederick Cliffe, Hubert Clifford and George Formby