Heeeeere’s Johnny…………….Oh

Being the latest despatch from the front line of one man’s war on terroir…. Our rural idyll here in the heart of la France profonde is lovely, but there’s one problem. Nature rather objects to us having muscled in and wants to take our little piece back – which it tries to do relentlessly throughout…

Zoned Out

I don’t know about you, but I find that the older I get, the lower my boredom threshold sinks. And the shorter my attention span becomes…. Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yes: boredom. Perhaps a jaded appetite is simply an inevitable consequence of having been shuffling around this mortal coil for a long time,…

Spring has sprung….dammit

Whoever put together the WordPress ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’ was getting positively frisky by this stage: “Turn, turn, turn. For many of us, winter is blossoming into spring…which season do you most look forward to?” Here in France, the four seasons are quite distinctive, which I suppose makes a pleasant change after our ten…

Attila The Pun

Last year, in an escalation of the ceaseless struggle against ever encroaching weeds – if you wanted to flaunt your French vocabulary, you could call it the war on terroir – I traded up from an electric to a petrol-driven lawnmower. Despite my initial concerns, this has actually turned out to be rather effective: to…

The unkindest cut

You may not even have noticed – and I wouldn’t pretend or presume that, in the great scheme of things, it makes any difference whether you have or not – but of late there’s not been too much in the way of output on this plucky little blog. Quite literally, you haven’t missed much. I would not…

Always read the instructions – if you dare

After a mild winter, the life cycle of the flora that surrounds us here at Tranquility Base is already well advanced. The forsythia is budding, the Narcissi are in bloom, the air is filled with birdsong. And the grass needs cutting. This year, we have a new weapon in the unending war against nature. I’ve cranked up the shock…