Bloganuary Day 23: Question time

Interview a fictional character.

Hello and welcome to today’s edition of ‘We ask the questions’. Our guest today, all the way from Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, is none other than The Luggage.

For those who may not already know, The Luggage is a large chest made of that rare material, sapient pearwood. Famously taciturn, The Luggage is, however, fiercely loyal to whoever its owner may be at the time, not only providing the services of a bodyguard but also, upon request, a freshly laundered pair of underpants smelling faintly of lavender.

Luggage – or may I call you ‘The? – you have been described as ‘half suitcase, half homicidal maniac’. Do you consider that a fair description?

I’ll take that as ‘no comment’.

Sir Terry said that, with regard to your attitude to the rest of creation, you could start with the phrase ‘bloody-minded malevolence’ and work up from there. What is your response to that?

Given your penchant for never answering questions, have you ever considered a career in politics?