Pants on fire…. What are florins, tanners and bobs? Key workers in a Victorian cotton mill, ranked by weekly wage. What is Dead Man’s Fingers? A tavern in the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie. What killed the triffids? Not me, guv. I’ve got an alibi. What is the difference between a buck and a…
On my lack of creativity… Creative recounting “Invent a definition for the word ‘flangiprop’, then use the word in a post.” So, the latest of the ‘365 Days of Writing Prompts’ comes straight from the bonkers end of the spectrum. But while I have no intention of coming up with a meaning for this concatenation…
From 2013, musings on more exotic foodstuffs Seriously? It would be grossly unfair to single out France as a world champion of nasty nutrition. Far from it: sheeps’ eyeballs in Arabia, deep-fried crickets in south-east Asia, even guinea pigs in South America, could all knock France into a cocked hat when it comes to sources…
You ‘avin’ a larf? Verklempt A native German speaker’s attempt to indicate that they’re hungry to somebody from Lancashire. Vittle Mis-spelled French mineral water. Vuvuzela A particularly cruel form of torture. Vexillology Another word for hypochondria. Velociraptor Not a pterodactyl. Vamoosinator A cyborg sent from the future to chase everyone away. Vicissitude Emulation of the…
Balderdash… What’s the difference between a bow and a curtsey? You can’t tie your hair back with a curtsey. What’s the difference between a bison and a basin? Try washing your face in a bison and you’ll find out soon enough. What’s the difference between a pocket and a pouch? There are no pouches on…
Bah, humbug. Why was January chosen to be the first month of the year? It put its hand up first. Why does the Chinese New Year not start until February? Jet lag. What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day? What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas any day of the year?…
From December 2014, a grumpy old man rant about a common song lyric trope… Asked and answered “Ask a simple question and you’ll get a simple answer” I was always told when I was a child. Sound advice too, I’ve always thought. The posing of a question is one of the most frequently used of all…
Homophones, homographs or homonyms? Or none of the above? What is a palava? More trouble than its worth. What is a pavlova? Food sacred to antipodeans. What is meant by purge? Something that gives everyone a good feeling – except the purgee. What is meant by purse? According to Iago, stolen trash. What is a…
Pull the other one…. What does Hg represent on the Periodic Table? Heavy Goods. Which actress said ‘Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night’? Jessica Tandy; she didn’t trust Morgan Freeman’s driving. What is the coloured part of your eye called? Iris Murdoch. What is the currency of Laos? Not worth…
Vraiment?… What is a running stitch? That pain in your side when you foolishly embark on a Couch To 5K. What is the collywobbles? A deservedly obscure Irish folk group. What is a tea caddy? A box of bags. What is a stick of words? An unfortunate stammer. What is a flash drive? A golf…
the only deadhead in the hameau 