From 2016, a diatribe about the limits of technology. I love a good rant, me… Brainless Stupidity #3: GPS (‘Brainless Stupidity’ is a – very – occasional series of diatribes against state-of-the-art manifestations of bovine idiocy masquerading as aids to modern life. Previous targets have included been the Belgian way of buying fuel and Paypal’s…
Pull the other one… Why is there no ‘three quarters back’ in American Football? Too arithmetically challenging. What is a stickleback? A position in American Football in which the player is allowed to use a feather duster. What is a boogaloo? A place for the sanitary disposal of nasal mucus. What is Victoria’s Secret? Expensive,…
From 2015, a post inspired by a short break in the picturesque medieval town of Sarlat, in the Dordogne. Modesty forbids me to suggest that I think this may be one of my better attempts at humour. Although admittedly that’s not saying much… Verily, A New Review On JourneyCounsellor Recently, I was wandering around a…
You’re ‘aving me on… What was the original sport in ancient Rome? Calcio. What is a group of ravens called? The All Blacks. Which foodstuff never goes bad? Marmite. Because it already is. “Your mother is a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries” is a line from which 1975 film? Dog Day Afternoon. Which…
From October 2014, a post about clothes and my relationship with them… Not quite the style icon For someone who goes out of his way to disavow any interest in ‘fashion’, the subject of clothing does seem to crop up quite often, albeit randomly, in this collection of ramblings. So perhaps it’s time to give…
Surely not…. What is a winklepicker? Just your average adolescent male. What is a pipsqueak? Someone with great expectations. What is a beatnik? Cool. Man. What is a sequin? A septet with two absent members. What is spiel? A kitchen utensil designed to prepare vegetables noiselessly. What is asphalt? A long, hard road. What is…
From ten years ago, a stark warning of the dangers of leaving home for any length of time… The Unkindest Cut You may not even have noticed – and I wouldn’t pretend or presume that, in the great scheme of things, it makes any difference whether you have or not – but of late there’s not been…
Uh Oh…..oh oh oh Oxymoron Military intelligence Ooky The general mien of the Addams family. Oodleplex The state of being confused by many things at once. Obfuscate To (not) answer a simple question in the manner of a politician. Obstreporous Wot you looking at? Oddsock A truly irritating wardrobe affectation. Orzo Sorry, but I was…
Panto auditions: NB – responses are very UK-centric, but then so’s Panto (oh no it isn’t!). Widow Twanky Brendan O’Carroll Buttons Austin Reed Cinders Leslie Ash The Beast Mark Labbett Gru Donald Pleasence Cruella de Vil Suella Braverman The Fairy Godmother Julian Clary Abanazar The Great Soprendo Carabosse Lily Savage King Rat Nigel Farage Fibbing…
From 2013, a meditation on my love/hate relationship with technology… Kit Despite my well-documented inability to get to grips with technology (defined as basically anything invented since the Stone Age), I still have the inherent Y-chromosome marker for ‘kit’. Sadly, though, this thing I have going on with technology is a classic love/hate relationship. I…
the only deadhead in the hameau 