Always read the instructions – if you dare

After a mild winter, the life cycle of the flora that surrounds us here at Tranquility Base is already well advanced. The forsythia is budding, the Narcissi are in bloom, the air is filled with birdsong. And the grass needs cutting. This year, we have a new weapon in the unending war against nature. I’ve cranked up the shock…

Why my ankles are on fire

Hard to believe I know, given the absence of any residual physical evidence, but I used to be a bit of a gym rat. No, really. Not for very long, admittedly, and to nothing like the obsessive extent of the creatine-guzzling monstrosities that you might see pictured on the cover of magazines with titles like ‘Bulge‘, ‘Musclebound’…or maybe ‘Transformers’.…

Meet the neighbours

Today, we feature the latest product of the joint venture with the online edition of our local newspaper, Le Quotidien de Faire-le-Dodo (87). Our regular reader will recall that we set this up at the beginning of this year with the aim of enhancing mutual friendship and understanding between the local and expat inhabitants of our fair…

Invisible ageing

My passport went off for renewal last week. Naturally, the application process entailed getting some new identity photos. Or, as it’s also known, a reality check. Compared to ten years ago I’m rather paler (the Abu Dhabi tan has long faded) and the face fungus is still a comparatively recent addition. Otherwise, not too bad really: a little more…

Brainless Stupidity #2

As a general rule I deal with the day-to-day vagaries of modern life by, if not quite ignoring them, at least treating their impingements on my consciousness with what I like to think of as a placid stoicism. By and large, to use a modern idiom, IDGAF. Sometimes, though, only a rant can help. Like…

Investment for dummies

There are very few things I’d claim to know more than most about. This rather limits – to put it mildly – the range of possible responses to this recent Daily Prompt: “Take a complicated subject you know more about than most people, and explain it to a friend who knows nothing about it at all.”…

So, annoying

You have no idea how much of a struggle it’s been not to start this post with the word ‘So’. For that is our subject today, dear reader. More particularly, the increasingly pervasive practice of begiinning sentences with this poor, innocent syllable. To borrow another common modern usage: WTF? This has been going on for years now,…

A Shoppers’ Guide to Faire-Le-Dodo (87)

[The latest post in a series, prepared in conjunction with our sister publication ‘Le Quotidien de Faire-Le-Dodo (87), designed to promote greater understanding and integration of the local and expat communities in our fair commune. This one is particularly aimed at recent incomers, who may still be familiarising themselves with daily life here.] You’ll already have…

Marital Duties

A recent WordPress daily prompt enquired: “What are the things you do within 30 minutes of waking up to ensure your day gets off on the right foot?” In my case there are two essential tasks that must be performed. Of the first – and I do mean the first – nothing more needs to be…

Qu’est que c’est le ‘pub quiz’?

Previously, we’ve written about the Concours de belote, a competition with dodgy prizes that makes almost no sense and whose (many) participants are almost exclusively French. It’s hard to think of a closer parallel within the expat community than the pub quiz, a competition also involving dodgy prizes and many participants – in this instance almost exclusively British – that…