Today’s WordPress Daily Prompt asks us to answer the ten standard questions that James Lipton asks his guests on ‘Inside The Actor’s Studio.’

Well, that’s a programme I used to like, and lists are usually good for a bit of introspection, so here goes:

What is your favourite word?
‘Opulente’
Some care is needed here to avoid confusing the sound with the concept it represents. The French word ‘opulente’ means the same as the English ‘opulent’, but somehow sounds a lot better – more oncteuse (another contender) if you like – with the second syllable lengthened. And I do like a bit of opulence now and then.

What is your least favourite word?
‘Funky’
Applied so broadly – and erroneously – to anything and everything, it has ceased to have any meaning at all and retains only its capacity to irritate the life out of me. Its use is prima facie evidence of being a complete prat.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
It would have to be music. Anything from Elgar’s cello concerto (perfect for feeling sorry for yourself) to ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ (come on you Reds) to Bryan Adams’ ‘If You Wanna Be Bad’ (go away).

What turns you off?
Self-importance. In the great scheme of things, I am completely irrelevant and inconsequential, So are you. Deal with it.

What is your favourite curse word?
‘Fuck’
There, I’ve said it. Again. But to qualify it somewhat, I’d say that ‘most frequently used’ would be a fairer description than ‘favourite’. Swearing, while often comforting – and a useful shorthand – is also something of an admission of defeat as regards your own eloquence.

What sound or noise do you love?
The gentle pop of a well-pulled cork.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Does anyone actually like the sound of an alarm clock going off?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Well, writing would be good, apart from the deadlines, but due to my total lack of imagination it would have to be non-fiction. On the other hand, I also have to remember that I spent thirty years as an investment analyst, so maybe fiction wouldn’t be such a stretch after all. On balance, I think photography would tick more of the right boxes – but no weddings or babies. And definitely no cat videos.

What profession would you not like to do?
A very long list. Essentially anything that involves any degree of physical effort or coordination. Needing to get your hands dirty is right out too.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Red or white?”