Answering these damn’ silly questions

I’m retired: what difference does it make?

Yes, but only because I’ve been married to her for thirty seven years.

What, you mean like work?

I really hate those emails, usually containing some appallingly simpering feel-good message, that urge me to forward them immediately to seven friends, on pain of eternal damnation or being held personally responsible for the extermination of the entire human race. Apart from anything else, I don’t have seven friends.